if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
