happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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