Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
