there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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