break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
