When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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