she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
