Me too!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
