No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
