no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize