holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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