the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize