just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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