You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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