Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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