very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize