i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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