If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
