should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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