Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
