Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
