Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
