I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
