They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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