everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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