you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
