who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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