You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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