Define "chronic" masturbator.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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