I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
