If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize