Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
