she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize