What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
