True but thats because hes a fetus.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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