he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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