i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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