Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY

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(845): View more from New York

felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

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(816): View more from Missouri

You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

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(713): View more from Texas

He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.

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(317): View more from Indiana

HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.

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(614): View more from Ohio

We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg

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(519): View more from Ontario

you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude

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(407): View more from Florida

We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.

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