Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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