really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
this is an emotional support booty call
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
