dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
