So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
