sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
