omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
