OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize