My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
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He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
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Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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