just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
