i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize