Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
