Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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