I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize