So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
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My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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