he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
