I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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