i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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