he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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