like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
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Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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